Seeking One’s Call
Each day I am in total anguish over whether God is pleased with me;
If I shame Him, I beg to Him forgiveness and for the purest intention of my heart to see.
I know that I am far from the perfection that He seeks;
Hoping that with each new day, within my path, I reach new peaks.
My heart aches seeing all of the evil that is lurking;
Within this beautiful world instead of love… greed, anger, and lust has the enemy smirking.
Sometimes I wish that all would not hurt so much;
Hearing someone’s cry, sensing someone’s saddness are things as such;
Like a sword running through my heart;
With each person I encounter, I wish I didn’t need to part;
Until I know for sure that their pain from within is gone, of them depart.
I agonize over why this gift was to me, given;
And for what it is that God wants of me, with this life and gift with, to be driven?
All I know for sure…
Is that my gift to feel others pain is from God, so pure…
Each day I ask Him what is meant for my life;
I would do anything to do God’s Work…despite all of the strife.
Is it through my writing, or is it through my speech…
To my family, I no longer want to be a leech.
For God is the only one that can set me free;
Of all of this anguish and pain within me…
I am just so tired;
And only want to be the tool/instrument to whom I have always admired.
God, I beg You to set me free of this pain;
To be able to use this gift, at my feet that You have lain.
To show all of Your Existence in this world;
To convince others of the enemy, out of their lives, would be hurled.
So many people are being misguided in the world today;
We must all use our gifts, and do our part to untangle others from evil and its way.